I'm 'oying' myself for this post but I feel it's a service so I will sacrifice myself:
'...if you can replace the word with "it is" or "it has", then the word is it's:
It's a long way to Tipperary.
If you can replace the word with "who is" or "who has", then the word is who's:
Who's that knocking at my door?
If you can replace the word with "they are", then the word is they're:
They're not going to get away with this.
And if you can replace the word with "there is", the word is there's:
There's a surprising amount about the apostrophe in this book.
If you can replace the word with "you are", then the word is you're:
You're never going to forget the difference between "its" and "it's".'
- From Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Colorless?
And not because it's mid-winter and I'm horribly pale:
I went for drinks with coworkers Friday night and was confronted with something interesting I'd never really thought about before. As always, I've forgotten the context of the conversation but it came up that I've always people thought people looked at me with questioning looks on the street because my ethnicity is visually ambiguous. Is she Filipino? Hawaiian? Possibly half white? What's the other half? It's not a good or bad thing but merely an observation on my part since I know people like to try and label everyone so that they can mentally process them, as humans are prone to do. So it was to my surprise that both coworkers said they've never thought of me as anything other than white or it's possible that they just haven't thought about me in any ethnic context at all. How interesting! Much of my consciousness involves ethnic identity and whether that's something that has been projected on me or just how i've evolved...I have no idea. Was it the chicken or the egg? As I'm writing this I think that perhaps it's because this is the first time I don't have any Asian coworkers in my immediate vicinity so I'm not compelled to make the Asian jokes or discuss my ethnic background? I don't know and ultimately it doesn't matter except to point out to me that i've never been aware of the possibility of being thought of as 'colorless.' Colorless. I'm just the Barb. Not the Chinese Barb or the Swedish, i mean, Swiss Barb. It's my lesson learned. Happy New Year all!
I went for drinks with coworkers Friday night and was confronted with something interesting I'd never really thought about before. As always, I've forgotten the context of the conversation but it came up that I've always people thought people looked at me with questioning looks on the street because my ethnicity is visually ambiguous. Is she Filipino? Hawaiian? Possibly half white? What's the other half? It's not a good or bad thing but merely an observation on my part since I know people like to try and label everyone so that they can mentally process them, as humans are prone to do. So it was to my surprise that both coworkers said they've never thought of me as anything other than white or it's possible that they just haven't thought about me in any ethnic context at all. How interesting! Much of my consciousness involves ethnic identity and whether that's something that has been projected on me or just how i've evolved...I have no idea. Was it the chicken or the egg? As I'm writing this I think that perhaps it's because this is the first time I don't have any Asian coworkers in my immediate vicinity so I'm not compelled to make the Asian jokes or discuss my ethnic background? I don't know and ultimately it doesn't matter except to point out to me that i've never been aware of the possibility of being thought of as 'colorless.' Colorless. I'm just the Barb. Not the Chinese Barb or the Swedish, i mean, Swiss Barb. It's my lesson learned. Happy New Year all!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Bad Education
Maybe it's because I watched an okay B-level movie last night before broaching Bad Education but I don't think so. In my experience, all Almodovar movies are spectacular and the main word that comes to mind after I watch them is 'visceral.' According to Webster it means, 'dealing with crude or elemental emotion,' and I think that's why it's the perfect word to describe his films.
I can't recall the last film I saw with an all-male cast that I loved, perhaps this is the first. His movies are so well crafted and push the envelope just enough to make you think about whether, if you were the protagonist, you would do the same as what's scripted. Would I kill my sibling if they were a long term drug addict and only causing utter strife to myself and the rest of my family? I'm gonna go with a no, but I'd probably think about it briefly as an easy way out. Does that make me murderous? No. In my mind, the difference between murderers/criminals and the rest of us is that they don't separate thought and imagination from reality (whether by choice or not). You can't say you've never thought about how easy life could be if you figured out a way to rob a bank and run off to some exotic island for your happily ever after. Or, how much more enjoyable life could be if (insert name of emotionally exhausting/general black hole of a person here) no longer existed. Such is the process of human thought. One is presented with a problem, one looks for the simplest solution. Of course, simplest isn't always the most moral. You see how this movie has made me think? And this is only one part of the parcel.
Can one fall in love at age 10? Are we even emotionally mature enough? Or perhaps it's because our emotional selves are still in development that we can let someone in more easily? It's like kids who learn a language at a young age pick it up faster than adults. I also happened to watch Jumper yesterday (not bad), but the lead says to his leading lady, 'since I was 5, it's only been you.' Or something to that effect. 5? I thought 10 was pushing it. But who am I to say yay or nay. Perhaps 'they just know.' That line had to come from somewhere.
Where are the lines between love, lust, and obsession? How are they different? Does love incorporate the other two and visa versa?
Why does pedophilia exist? Is it because it's forbidden? Why is 18 the age of consent? Seems arbitrary. Apparently, 'Although some young people may feel that they are mature enough to engage in a sexual relationship, others may lack the emotional development to deal with this or to feel confident enough to say 'no'. Age of consent laws are there to protect young people from being sexually exploited by adults.' Here we go again about emotional development. If age 5, is old enough to know you're in love (according to some people) then why 18? I recognize that some things just exist for our own protection and perhaps shouldn't be questioned. But I like to question. Like, why can we vote at 18 but not drink til we're 21? We're emotionally mature enough to take part in choosing who leads one of the most powerful countries on earth but not emotionally mature enough to legally have a glass of wine? On the same token, we're emotionally mature enough to drive at age 16. Meanwhile, 'On an average day in the USA, 10 teenagers are killed in teen-driven vehicles.' What? Je ne comprende pas. Maybe they don't want us voting when we're all under the influence or they figured if we've survived 2 years of teen driving we deserve to vote? Ha.
Everything seems to come down to emotional maturity, no?
Perhaps this is too much for a Sunday morning.
I can't recall the last film I saw with an all-male cast that I loved, perhaps this is the first. His movies are so well crafted and push the envelope just enough to make you think about whether, if you were the protagonist, you would do the same as what's scripted. Would I kill my sibling if they were a long term drug addict and only causing utter strife to myself and the rest of my family? I'm gonna go with a no, but I'd probably think about it briefly as an easy way out. Does that make me murderous? No. In my mind, the difference between murderers/criminals and the rest of us is that they don't separate thought and imagination from reality (whether by choice or not). You can't say you've never thought about how easy life could be if you figured out a way to rob a bank and run off to some exotic island for your happily ever after. Or, how much more enjoyable life could be if (insert name of emotionally exhausting/general black hole of a person here) no longer existed. Such is the process of human thought. One is presented with a problem, one looks for the simplest solution. Of course, simplest isn't always the most moral. You see how this movie has made me think? And this is only one part of the parcel.
Can one fall in love at age 10? Are we even emotionally mature enough? Or perhaps it's because our emotional selves are still in development that we can let someone in more easily? It's like kids who learn a language at a young age pick it up faster than adults. I also happened to watch Jumper yesterday (not bad), but the lead says to his leading lady, 'since I was 5, it's only been you.' Or something to that effect. 5? I thought 10 was pushing it. But who am I to say yay or nay. Perhaps 'they just know.' That line had to come from somewhere.
Where are the lines between love, lust, and obsession? How are they different? Does love incorporate the other two and visa versa?
Why does pedophilia exist? Is it because it's forbidden? Why is 18 the age of consent? Seems arbitrary. Apparently, 'Although some young people may feel that they are mature enough to engage in a sexual relationship, others may lack the emotional development to deal with this or to feel confident enough to say 'no'. Age of consent laws are there to protect young people from being sexually exploited by adults.' Here we go again about emotional development. If age 5, is old enough to know you're in love (according to some people) then why 18? I recognize that some things just exist for our own protection and perhaps shouldn't be questioned. But I like to question. Like, why can we vote at 18 but not drink til we're 21? We're emotionally mature enough to take part in choosing who leads one of the most powerful countries on earth but not emotionally mature enough to legally have a glass of wine? On the same token, we're emotionally mature enough to drive at age 16. Meanwhile, 'On an average day in the USA, 10 teenagers are killed in teen-driven vehicles.' What? Je ne comprende pas. Maybe they don't want us voting when we're all under the influence or they figured if we've survived 2 years of teen driving we deserve to vote? Ha.
Everything seems to come down to emotional maturity, no?
Perhaps this is too much for a Sunday morning.
Monday, January 5, 2009
new year = more me
it's a new year. people always say, 'a new year, a new beginning, a new you,' but what if a 'new' anything isn't what you want? what if the 'old' was just fine? what if you had a pretty good oh8?
madonna is known for reinvention and obviously that's what keeps people interested in the entertainment industry but what i really love about her is that the reinvention is just the exterior. it seems to me that she's always balls out about who she is. she's a strong woman and has never hidden who she is and what she's capable of, bitchy. or. not. so, you ask, what does Barb want this year for herself?
honestly, i don't think i'd be too upset for things to keep trucking along as they are. i've got amazing people around me and (gasp) a job i like (i know that's rare these days). the only thing i do want is to make more time for myself...treat myself better both physically and emotionally. not be so hard on myself ya know? we are our harshest critics. otherwise, oh8 was great and oh9...well...i'm not gonna hope for worse am i?
and if i could wish something for the world i'd ask for more optimism and good will, sappy i know, but those two qualities work wonders.
madonna is known for reinvention and obviously that's what keeps people interested in the entertainment industry but what i really love about her is that the reinvention is just the exterior. it seems to me that she's always balls out about who she is. she's a strong woman and has never hidden who she is and what she's capable of, bitchy. or. not. so, you ask, what does Barb want this year for herself?
honestly, i don't think i'd be too upset for things to keep trucking along as they are. i've got amazing people around me and (gasp) a job i like (i know that's rare these days). the only thing i do want is to make more time for myself...treat myself better both physically and emotionally. not be so hard on myself ya know? we are our harshest critics. otherwise, oh8 was great and oh9...well...i'm not gonna hope for worse am i?
and if i could wish something for the world i'd ask for more optimism and good will, sappy i know, but those two qualities work wonders.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
love is all around
it's an interesting transition when family relationships become friendships. visiting family no longer becomes a once a year thing where you talk about your job and other 'safe' subjects so they don't worry about you being crazy in new york and perhaps killing yourself slowly. i've never really lived near my extended family so i've never been able to build relationships with them that more closely resemble my friendships. but as time passes and the more we see each other in our natural environments with our own groups of friends we get a more complete vision of who we are. we move past just being 'the cuz' and into actual people with lives outside of the family setting. people you're related to don't choose to be, as a result friendships aren't always a given for multitudes of reasons. but i have to say that when it does work, when you finally do bond with family it's exceedingly rewarding because blood ties draw you closer to each other much more quickly. then you find out about how much you have in common, their real wants and desires that aren't the 'safe' answers things get so much more real and interesting. you're no longer making assumptions based on what the other person chooses to show you. you become vulnerable and you don't have the choice of hiding thoughts and feelings and smiling all the time even when you don't want to because they now know better. the layers get peeled away. it's a good feeling.
i think, watching people when they're among close friends really tells you a lot about who they are. are they the ones who watch out for their friends when they're faced with unwanted attention? get them drinks? help them host? how do they greet each other? (are they genuinely excited to see each other?) how do they touch? do they care how they appear to strangers? this weekend i saw a lot of pure excitement between friends, real bonds, and a very real desire to just enjoy the moment. because, really, what else is there? exhausted as i am, i am full of love right now. (please, try not to barf on your keyboard.) i'm very lucky to have the friends i have. and now i feel like i've added a few more exceptional people. thank you.
i think, touch is a very underrated method of communication. minds out of the gutter. i value my personal space just as much as the next person, especially at rush hour on the subway but i've always been particularly drawn to people who greet with big hugs and kisses, or just touch your arm or leg when you're chatting. people who aren't afraid of contact, because i'm not, but because other people tend to be i restrain myself. i think our society has veered away from human contact for whatever reason and we can all use just a little bit more of it. just a touch can speak volumes. this weekend, i realized how important that is to me. i've noticed that i build friendships more quickly with people who are more touchy. because it's comfort. it's reassurance. it's warmth. it's acknowledgement that you're a living, breathing, human being. you're there. perhaps that's why i like to give people massages randomly.
i'm at the airport right now, already missing the people i'm leaving but also excited to be with the people at home. enough rambling i think. plus, people are scowling at me for usurping computer time.
i think, watching people when they're among close friends really tells you a lot about who they are. are they the ones who watch out for their friends when they're faced with unwanted attention? get them drinks? help them host? how do they greet each other? (are they genuinely excited to see each other?) how do they touch? do they care how they appear to strangers? this weekend i saw a lot of pure excitement between friends, real bonds, and a very real desire to just enjoy the moment. because, really, what else is there? exhausted as i am, i am full of love right now. (please, try not to barf on your keyboard.) i'm very lucky to have the friends i have. and now i feel like i've added a few more exceptional people. thank you.
i think, touch is a very underrated method of communication. minds out of the gutter. i value my personal space just as much as the next person, especially at rush hour on the subway but i've always been particularly drawn to people who greet with big hugs and kisses, or just touch your arm or leg when you're chatting. people who aren't afraid of contact, because i'm not, but because other people tend to be i restrain myself. i think our society has veered away from human contact for whatever reason and we can all use just a little bit more of it. just a touch can speak volumes. this weekend, i realized how important that is to me. i've noticed that i build friendships more quickly with people who are more touchy. because it's comfort. it's reassurance. it's warmth. it's acknowledgement that you're a living, breathing, human being. you're there. perhaps that's why i like to give people massages randomly.
i'm at the airport right now, already missing the people i'm leaving but also excited to be with the people at home. enough rambling i think. plus, people are scowling at me for usurping computer time.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Head Over Feet
I woke up this morning, looked at my iTunes, and out of 6948 songs I picked this song by Alanis Morissette. The lyrics (see below) are a strangely accurate (mostly) in describing my feelings towards Obama.
Last night was electric. Energy pulsed in every crack and crevice of this great city. People screamed in the streets as if it was New Years' or perhaps a jailbreak. It was like we were stirred out of an 8-year coma. Over and over again, people (like myself) who said they've never cared about politics, cared and were unable to explain why. I was convinced that Obama had only possessed New York until last night. I hope that watching him win in a landslide will serve to unite these 50 broken states. To realize that as different as each district, town, and city may be the majority announced last night that we were ready for something different. We know Obama doesn't have shoes to fill, he has shoes to fix. Change wont happen overnight and it would be unrealistic to expect otherwise. Eight years of pouty, childish, holier than thou behavior will take some time to reverse however seeing people in other countries celebrate Obama's victory gives me hope that our reputation in the world community can be repaired. It's time to turn a new leaf, start a new chapter, take a deep breath, do all the things we've said we needed to do, and start the healing. No one who knows me would ever call me a patriot, in fact, people called me a communist in high school, but I have faith in people. Our biggest obstacle is the fear we have in ourselves. I have faith in the things that can be accomplished if we only believed that we could.
'I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it
You treat me like Im a princess
Im not used to liking that
You ask how my day was
(chorus)
Youve already won me over in spite of me
Dont be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Dont be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldnt help it
Its all your fault
Your love is think and it swallowed me whole
Youre so much braver than I gave you credit for
Thats not lip service
(repeat chorus)
You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience
Youre the best listener that Ive ever met
Youre my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long
Ive never felt this healthy before
Ive never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now
(repeat chorus)'
Last night was electric. Energy pulsed in every crack and crevice of this great city. People screamed in the streets as if it was New Years' or perhaps a jailbreak. It was like we were stirred out of an 8-year coma. Over and over again, people (like myself) who said they've never cared about politics, cared and were unable to explain why. I was convinced that Obama had only possessed New York until last night. I hope that watching him win in a landslide will serve to unite these 50 broken states. To realize that as different as each district, town, and city may be the majority announced last night that we were ready for something different. We know Obama doesn't have shoes to fill, he has shoes to fix. Change wont happen overnight and it would be unrealistic to expect otherwise. Eight years of pouty, childish, holier than thou behavior will take some time to reverse however seeing people in other countries celebrate Obama's victory gives me hope that our reputation in the world community can be repaired. It's time to turn a new leaf, start a new chapter, take a deep breath, do all the things we've said we needed to do, and start the healing. No one who knows me would ever call me a patriot, in fact, people called me a communist in high school, but I have faith in people. Our biggest obstacle is the fear we have in ourselves. I have faith in the things that can be accomplished if we only believed that we could.
'I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it
You treat me like Im a princess
Im not used to liking that
You ask how my day was
(chorus)
Youve already won me over in spite of me
Dont be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Dont be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldnt help it
Its all your fault
Your love is think and it swallowed me whole
Youre so much braver than I gave you credit for
Thats not lip service
(repeat chorus)
You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience
Youre the best listener that Ive ever met
Youre my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long
Ive never felt this healthy before
Ive never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now
(repeat chorus)'
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
The 3 categories of female undergarments
I came across a blogpost this morning about women's underwear just now and asked Mr. Ling-erie what he thought of said blogpost. I found what he said to be hysterical, accurate, and worthy of a wwbd blogpost to see what ya'll have to say about it. Without further ado I'm honored to present (with minimal editing), 'The 3 categories of female undergarments' by Mr. Ling-erie (aka P.C.):
'you have your cute undies...to lay around in...not good for clothes since it's baggy almost like lounge wear for those ladies who don't like wearing anything beside undies at home...then you have your utility undergarments: everyday, work, comfortable...then you have the come f*#k 'ish out of me undies.
i take mental notes, i mean as a guy you know my stances when it comes to underwear. if i am unwrapping it would be nice if it was well packaged, a bonus, if i may.'
do you agree with Mr. Ling-erie's 3 categories? I think I do. I honestly didn't realize until recently that underoos are very important to some on a sexual level. Of course, I recognize there's visual appeal but I dunno I guess I just didn't know it's a bigger deal to some.
'you have your cute undies...to lay around in...not good for clothes since it's baggy almost like lounge wear for those ladies who don't like wearing anything beside undies at home...then you have your utility undergarments: everyday, work, comfortable...then you have the come f*#k 'ish out of me undies.
i take mental notes, i mean as a guy you know my stances when it comes to underwear. if i am unwrapping it would be nice if it was well packaged, a bonus, if i may.'
do you agree with Mr. Ling-erie's 3 categories? I think I do. I honestly didn't realize until recently that underoos are very important to some on a sexual level. Of course, I recognize there's visual appeal but I dunno I guess I just didn't know it's a bigger deal to some.
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