skydiving

it all started out on a girls night at C's house.

L said, 'hey i'm going skydiving for my birthday.'
i say, 'hey, i've been wanting to go again.'
L: 'you wanna go? my friend's mom is an avid skydiver and she's hooking me up."
B: 'sure, i'm in!
L: 'anyone else? lets all go.'

and that's pretty much how it came to be that 5 girls drove to connecticut on 4/26 to jump out of a plane...

but there's really nothing like it which makes it somewhat hard to describe when people ask, "well how was it?" actually i find that a hard question to answer in general. it's so broad, where does one begin?

lemme try.
picture it:

i jump into a suit that makes me look like a mechanic, 'give me a wrench C!'

getting on the plane you wonder what the hell you're doing and why. the further up you climb, the smaller objects on the ground seem, the more you think about your life and things you've yet to do. though i will say that there are worse ways to go then while skydiving. i thought about how lucky i am to have done as much as i have thus far. but as we climb to 4,000 ft and the 'funjumper' went out and was swept away abruptly by the atmosphere...THAT'S when the real fear kicks in and you want to cry 'mommy' and get back on the ground which, of course, isn't possible (at least not for someone with as much pride as me, if i go skydiving, i'm skydiving). when you watch someone else fall out of a plane and get taken away by the wind, it's not something you forget. my feet and legs start to tingle with a combination of general discomfort from my sitting position, fear, and more fear. i also thought i'd lose my sneakers in the air and kill some unfortunate person down below. i hold on to the hand grip with my right hand envisioning some grave mishap where i just fall out of the plane by accident and tried to look away from the open door, just a few feet in front of me on my left as the plane climbed higher and higher. "we'll be up in another 5 minutes," he says. and i thought, 5 minutes is an eternity, get me out now! luckily, my tandem, Mike has almost 7500 jumps under his belt and knows how to distract newbie jumpers. he pointed out the sights, "hey, there's UConn, there's Springfield, Mass., there's Harftord, and on a clear day you can see Manhattan." i say a combination of, "wow, that's cool, wow, awesome, so cool," in an effort to SEEM calm because god forbid I show fear. i even tried asking questions. my hands are clamming up and it's cold but we finally get to 10,500ft and move ourselves toward the door, i have to toss my legs over and the wind takes them to the right. i think my heart is about to jump out of my chest. he makes some final adjustments on the straps, i feel like my breath is being taken away (cue the song) and out we go. i do my best to keep my back arched and legs back as we practiced. but i don't really think i breathed at all during the free fall, the wind was hitting my face, i felt it contorting, my mind was racing at the speed of the free fall (about 140 mph i think)if not faster but it moved so quickly i had no idea what thoughts they were. i don't even recall seeing anything. mike said that i should look up and try to find the plane in my vision to get a sense of how quickly we were falling away but i couldn't. and then it was over, the parachute came out, i don't think i even had time to scream/yell. (the first time i jumped, in Interlaken, i distinctly remember yelling for most of the free fall.) after we started floating around that i start yelling a combination of, "ahhhhh! that's awesome! ahhhh! wooohooo! ahhhhh!" mike asks me how i feel and i say it was great. we do a few intense spins and twirls, he lets me steer a bit and a few minutes later we get back to solid ground. i don't know if this is the case for most people who skydive but for me, it's the anticipation, the flight up, and the free fall that make it all worthwhile.

i find myself to be a fairly calm and mellow person and perhaps that's why i like to do things that stimulate my senses. the added bonus was how this entire event came to be.i mean, it's not like we're all best friends from elementary school who made a pact to do this at a certain age. it was completely random.

now, i have a feeling girls night will be an institution to be reckoned with.

whats up party people?

tomorrow i will jump out of an airplane. what, you say? Barb you're crazy. why would you want to do that?

because it's fun dammit. the fear, rush, and adrenaline of jumping out of a plane is unparalleled. UNPARALLELED. it's only about 45 seconds but it may just be the best 45 seconds after you-know-what (hint, it starts with an 's' and ends with an 'x'). but plenty of people think i'm crazy already, might as well support the rep right?

in other news, as of 5pm today i am once again professionally unemployed. never fear dear fans, i'm a-okay, my freelance gig was up. time to find another that's all. plus the weather couldn't be more perfect for some time off. you say, but Barb you just went to Maui why do you need time off? you'd be right to ask but i'm also young and time's a wastin' if you ask me. i gotta see see see what's out there. so as i mentioned in my last post, i think i really may do that road trip down the east coast. if you've got a buddy, grandmother, candlestick maker friend that needs some Bahooba! in their life, lemme know.

of course, i also need to be rational and practical so if ya'll hear whisperings of any web editor positions, do pass them along. Bahooba! would really appreciate it. though considering i've been referring to myself in the 3rd person and also plan on jumping out of an airplane tomorrow, future employers may consider me clinically insane but hey, can't hurt putting it out there right?

in any case, that's the latest with me. oh wait, that's a lie, i've also been catching up on music and as expected, Madge's album doesn't live up to the Confessions legacy. boo.

anyway, if ya'll are so inclined, i'll be around so feel free to give me a call so we can hang out bc as of now, i'm a professionally unemployed two-hand touch football player so i've got some time.

because everything happens for a reason,

barbara aka wanderlust huber

Lately

I just spent a week in Maui, completely unplanned and I have to say it was quite fantastical. the sheer variety of flora and fauna that exists there (and that I'd never seen elsewhere) is spectacular. The colors were vivid. The weather was hot but not too humid. we stayed in a fully equipped 7 bdrm beachfront house. i mean, what else could you ask for? admittedly, i snuck in on this trip. i got a last minute invite and made it happen. but i'm really glad i made it. i learned to kayak and kinda love it. i jogged barefoot on the beach and kinda loved that too. i mean, these are the things i never really got to do as a city kid that never went to camp so it was nice. i'm glad i can get to do these things now. oh, and i'm skydiving on the 26th for the second time. it's so very exciting.

in other news, my current permalance gig is coming to an end in less than two weeks and i think it might be fun to drive down the east coast and just stop wherever we like. that way, we wont have to deal with flights, which are all a complete mess right now, and we can go at our leisure. i've not really explored this country as much as i have the rest of the world so perhaps it's time.

Juno

Yes, I just watched it and no, i hadn't seen it yet. I think it's great. I don't think of it in terms of the Oscars or anything like that. It's a great film with heart. She reminds me of me in a way. Especially in her sense of humor. She's always got something to say. I like her name. I like her nickname. I like her dad. And I can empathize with her want of 'perfection' in the adoptive couple. I like that it wasn't about how teenage pregnancy can tear a family apart, but rather about how perhaps those who get pregnant at that age maybe be irresponsible but are not complete idiots when it comes to life. I like that it was about mac and cheese. I like that while it marginalizes dorkdom, it doesn't make it bad. At the core, the movie is about judgement or rather the lack of it. People going through life floating in and out of 'protocol' as they see fit. Because really, we don't need protocols. Really, we look to protocols more for precedent than anything else. Really, we just want a guide, a map, something that tells us how we 'should' react and do things because sometimes it's just easier that way. Especially when it's something we haven't experienced personally. There's nothing wrong with that. I think as long as you give yourself the freedom to veer off protocol as you see fit when you need it it's fine, i mean, having a map on hand has never hurt has it? Just don't think that you have to stick to it. I think it's important to FEEL free to walk down that side street and perhaps explore that alley even if you don't. Nothing is perfect, including maps. Plus I've found it's more fun sometimes when you just go.

What are you?

So I went to this photo exhibit opening last night:

3/10/2008 - 5/30/2008
Solo Exhibition - Part Asian, 100% Hapa (Opening Reception 3/10, 6-8:00 PM) -
Asian/Pacific/American Institute, NYU
212.992.9651
www.seaweedproductions.com

The interest is obvious for me as someone who's half Chinese and half Swiss. But what I did not anticipate was the strange feeling of walking into a room and seeing people that look just like me. I realized at that point that it was something I'd never really felt before. I mean, it can be a hard concept to grasp conceptually. It never occurred to me that this was something that I'd never experienced. After all, while lots of people are ethnically mixed up there aren't very many places where they congregate. It's not like, if you're Chinese and just moved to NY from Hong Kong and you're feeling a little homesick you can head down to Chinatown for a bit of 'home.' Know what I mean? I know I repeated myself over and over to the people I was with and I know they were saying the same, "I've never really been in a room with people that look like me." We kept looking around, mouths slightly ajar, taking it all in. I couldn't stop looking around. People all looked so different yet similar. Some of the pieces on display(all of which had short blurbs written by the subjects about themselves) caused me to laugh out loud. If you haven't seen this exhibit or the book I'd recommend it because there certainly isn't much media out there about being mixed. Not that it's so much different from other ethnic 'experiences,' but it's still another perspective.

It was refreshing to joke about the "What are you?" question all of us mixed folk seem to get. Until that point, I'd never really encounter groups of other people who were the targets of that very same question I personally get on a regular basis. So to counter the joke it just became the first thing we discovered about each other with each new person we met. I dunno, it was an interesting bit of time. I'm sure most people take it for granted to look out into a sea of people and see lots of physical similarities but now I know that I've never really had that but I never noticed it until I did have it. It's not some 'boo hoo' thing at all, I like looking different, being different, being hard to pinpoint/label. It's an observation that I wanted to share because it blew my mind a bit. Ain't no lie...

Danes and romantic comedies

Am watching Notting Hill, also read the results of a study today that claims that Danes are the happiest people because they have low (or next to no) expectations which made me think:

'Why do people love romantic comedies?'

Some say that romantic comedies build up expectations of what relationships should be in reality and then to read about the abstract of the study made me think:

'Is ignorance really bliss?'

Isn't that what adults say about children? They're happy because they are clean slates, unaffected, and any other word(s) you'd care to insert here? Now I'm not saying bollocks (remember that I'm watching Notting Hill) to biology and evolution, after all, we develop as we do for a reason. But is it possible perhaps that what works for babies and young children may not be the best for adults? Is that an unfair statement? 'Unfair' is relative. All I can base my thoughts on are my experience and in my experience I know I like romantic comedies because they make me laugh, they leave me feeling happy, and they make me aspire. I don't see anything wrong with aspiration, I mean, we are human beings what's wrong with believing that the stuff of novels and movies is possible? Why is it so outlandish to some and daily life for others?

'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.' - FDR

Is it more that we don't believe that we can recover from a failed relationship? Perhaps. Or the fear of failed relationships? Because aren't there just as many novels and movies out there that preach that particular gospel? The Romeo & Juliet stories are just as valid I guess. Undoubtedly it's a justified fear but I think it's a matter of your perspective and experience which path you subscribe to. I think for myself... I know better than to fall victim to fear perhaps because I've felt what I imagine to be the worse of the worse. And on the flipside, if you've felt it, how can you settle for anything less?

'I'm also a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.'

letters

I work in interactive media, maintain a blog, and e-mail with the best of them yet I just felt the impulse to write a few letters. What are they? You ask. Once upon a time, people wrote what they felt about each other or even about their daily lives with a pen and paper. Mailed it. Then a few days later, it would be gleefully received. I remember, when I was 'yey' (cue: hand gesture mimicking a child's height) I remember always looking forward to getting letters in the mail. Of course, most children, love getting mail. It's a right of passage to being an adult. Even now, I ALWAYS get the mail, and sometimes between the letters from the Binghamton Alumni Association asking me for money, the notices that I've won millions of dollars, or the 5 Victoria's Secret catalogues I seem to get in one shot, I receive the occasional handwritten note and they are always the first to be opened.

I recognize that there's an irony to blogging about letter writing but it's a different method of interaction between two people that has gone the way of the horse and carriage. There's something very personal and thoughtful about letters. If you know me, you know that I despise greeting cards and it's not because I'm a scrooge who doesn't like to express their feelings. On the contrary I think greeting cards are generic because they express a pre-written, reprinted, fabricated-by-someone-in-a-cubicle-that's-not-you (btw, I work in a cubicle) sentiment. Then someone just signs their name to it and hands it off to you. Believe me, I get that this person has taken time out of their day to go out and purchase a card to give. I appreciate that. I do. And let me clarify that I have no issues with people who send greeting cards and actually write a thoughtful sentiment in it. Does that make sense? I find cards void of text other than a signature a great waste of paper. Thank you cards and Christmas cards are exempt from this rule since sheer volume prohibits excessive creativity. In any case, I was inspired by a book I excerpted for work about how to write love letters, to jot down a few thoughts to close friends and hope it brightens their day when they receive it. Hence this diatribe.