September 14th

Much like Mother's Day, September 14th has always been a strange occasion for me. It was 13 years ago today. Yes. Yes. THAT day. The day my life changed forever. Not in that melodramatic way but in that it irrevocably changed who I was at the time and who i was to become. Believe me, I've thought about it and I know I would've been different and, i daresay, less happy which is why i believe, so wholeheartedly, that everything. happens. for. a. reason. Ironically, September has become a month of celebration since many of my close friends have September birthdays so perhaps i'm meant to think of September 14th not as a day of death but a day to celebrate life? then again, shouldn't we be celebrating life every day? i think so.

i recognize that if someone just read the first 2 lines of this post without knowing me they'd think, 'Geez Barb, that sucks. how shitty. i'm sorry.' but, i'd prefer that people not think about it that way. i'd rather people realize, as i do, how incredibly lucky i am and have been. i don't have to try to be glass half full, it's really how i am and i recognize that i could've gone in the opposite direction. but i didn't and so again, i'm lucky. i'm healthy. i've got amazing people around me and a lifestyle that i just cannot complain about, even though i do at times. it's not to say that it's all been roses, which, obviously it hasn't. but all of it has made me who i am. all of it. as a result, i'm quite resilient. i know i can get over pretty much anything in time. life is too important and fragile. sometimes i think we all let such insignificant things ruin our days. i believe there's great value in knowing what's worth truly fretting over and what isn't. it saves one's time and sanity.

this is NOT about me tooting my own horn. this is about me saying, i don't know any other way to be. these are the cards i've been dealt. this is how my brain has reacted. my mother went through too much shizz getting me here to not appreciate it. i. am. lucky. so, to a life well lived.

p.s. to a life well lived to you too, dear reader.