i can tell u what barb wouldn't do and that is to groom. on the. subway. seriously. some woman who had a faint resemblance to ms. piggy (and i mean that in the nicest possible way) sat one seat away from me on the subway this morning. she announced her arrival with the thud of her purse on the seat between us and i mean a THUD. there must've been bricks in there or something. then makeup started coming out and she was applying it here and there, nothing i hadn't seen before but then...then...then...she pulled out the tweezers! what's worse is that she was plucking stray hairs from her lip area. pursing her VERY full lips to pluck pluck pluck. i looked across at the other riders searching for looks of horror and disbelief and felt justified. who does that? i mean, i've seen people clip their nails and apply makeup but i think tweezing is a bit much. i understand the concept of multitasking but if you can't squeeze out 5 minutes to do that in your own bathroom then perhaps you should be relegated to hairiness. are on board subway waxers far behind?
we pull into 23rd street and it was like the conductor was waiting for her to pull her ish together to get off the train. the doors were open an abnormal amount of time while she dropped makeup, spilled coffee, and scrambled to throw herself out of the car in time before the doors shut behind her.
then all the people in my portion of the train just giggled both to each other and to themselves. i think even spied a smirk on the face of the gross offender while she composed herself on the platform. perhaps she realized the ridiculousness of it all or just wished she got off the train more gracefully aware of the audience around her.
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