Sunday, January 10, 2010

freedom, not the George Michael song

i just watched Revolutionary Road.

Kate Winslet did such a great job playing a stifled woman. it really made me think about how much i don't want to be that and how i don't want anyone around me to be that. the thought of it is incredibly scary, and i honestly can't imagine how one gets into that predicament. am i being dense? idealistic? perhaps, but i don't think i'm seriously frightened of very much however the thought of being stifled and suffocated might be it. now that i think about it the closest people to me are pretty free which is really why i love them and if they're not i'm trying my damnedest to encourage it. i recognize the word 'free' is broad, general, and doesn't describe much but the effort to define it further would make it contrary to the term itself wouldn't it? being free is what we make of it right? i imagine it's different for everyone. it could be the freedom to speak your mind, the freedom to go where you desire, the freedom to be with who you want to be with, the freedom to feel and not feel bad about it (pardon the redundancy).

don't we owe it to ourselves to live as best we can? or is it a matter of living as best as we know how? is there a difference? i mean, i've been given so much thus far i don't feel right not exploring things that feel right (wow, now i'm realizing how limiting language is). am i missing something? i think i've forgotten (or just haven't thought about) how i got here. thoughts?