it's a beautifully crisp day in new york. i just went for a bike ride 'round Prospect Park and realized it was a little too crisp for shorts perhaps. i don't know why every physical activity revolves around shorts for me, even if it is the dead of winter. dense much?
a few things:
i'm going to Buenos Aires on Tuesday, not Brazil. And no, Argentina and Brazil are not the same country and wont be. Ever. well, it's unlikely.
i have been there before. i'm going again bc i got a cheap ass (though likely not so comfortable connecting flight) by happenstance, it's 80 degrees there right now and i like traveling. i think that's enough of a reason. fingers crossed Mexicana!
Switzerland and Sweden are not the same country just as New York and New Jersey aren't the same state. put's it in perspective no? no? really?
Hong Kong is part of China which is not the same as Japan. supposedly we all look the same but even i know London is in the UK and not France. yeah, i wrote it. what?
no i am not half Swedish and half Japanese.
no i am not turning 30. not that there's anything wrong with that.
yes i work at glamour.com. yes, the website for the same Glamour magazine placed just so on your coffee table.
no, i don't write, edit, or test makeup. once upon a time i did write, edit, and test things but no longer.
what exactly do i do? words and pictures don't appear magically on the interwebs, someone has to put them there (whether they write them or not) and make it look pretty for you to 'read.' it's like christmas, just believe it.
i went to Binghamton University and no, it's not located the next town over from Southampton, Long Island. and yes, i did just look up exactly how to spell 'Southampton.'
before that i went to Birch Wathen Lenox for grades 8-12. don't you dare think for a moment i don't dread saying it every time because NO ONE catches it the first time. 'Birch, like the tree. Wathen, like i dunno what. Lenox. yes.' wonderful school otherwise.
yes, it was on the Upper East side but no it wasn't like Gossip Girl. yes, there were 18 people in my graduating class. 18. yes. really? yes. and you probably have met 10% of my graduating class.
i really did grow up in Manhattan. no, i am not a unicorn.
i lived in Hells Kitchen before it was clean, Battery Park City before it became a suburb, and the Upper East Side before it was...? currently i live in Brooklyn. a strangely passport free experience.
with the same roommate.
for 7+ years. yes. really. really.
i was born in Hong Kong and strangely i'm not Japanese.
yes, i like to travel.
no, i am not a trust fund baby. (i know you're thinking it. stop thinking it. right. now.)
yes i speak Cantonese but no i wont 'say something.' do i look like a trained monkey? and i most definitely will not order your next delivery order for you in Chinese.
Cantonese is a dialect of Chinese.
my name is spelled like so: Barbara. thanks Mrs. Streisand for screwing it up for the rest of us. that's right, look it up, there's a difference.
feel free to call me any pre-approved (please submit written requests via email) iteration you like except for Babs, Barbie, and Asshole.
my last name is not pronounced 'Hoover.' so, no, not like the vacuum.
i am not a monk, despite how i may sound at times.
no, i do not steal children. stop spreading lies.
generally i prefer a handwritten love note on my birthday rather than a gift.
that is, unless you were planning on giving me a Land Rover Sport.
my main pet peeves are flakiness, bad spelling, and general misuse of the English language.
yes, i am a snob.
people don't read yet i bother writing...riddle me that.
you have just read (probably scanned) the answers to the most often asked* questions in my life. now back to regularly scheduled programming.
xoxo,
that is all :)
*these may not reflect reality
