Oy

I'm 'oying' myself for this post but I feel it's a service so I will sacrifice myself:

'...if you can replace the word with "it is" or "it has", then the word is it's:

It's a long way to Tipperary.

If you can replace the word with "who is" or "who has", then the word is who's:

Who's that knocking at my door?

If you can replace the word with "they are", then the word is they're:

They're not going to get away with this.

And if you can replace the word with "there is", the word is there's:

There's a surprising amount about the apostrophe in this book.

If you can replace the word with "you are", then the word is you're:

You're never going to forget the difference between "its" and "it's".'

- From Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss

Colorless?

And not because it's mid-winter and I'm horribly pale:

I went for drinks with coworkers Friday night and was confronted with something interesting I'd never really thought about before. As always, I've forgotten the context of the conversation but it came up that I've always people thought people looked at me with questioning looks on the street because my ethnicity is visually ambiguous. Is she Filipino? Hawaiian? Possibly half white? What's the other half? It's not a good or bad thing but merely an observation on my part since I know people like to try and label everyone so that they can mentally process them, as humans are prone to do. So it was to my surprise that both coworkers said they've never thought of me as anything other than white or it's possible that they just haven't thought about me in any ethnic context at all. How interesting! Much of my consciousness involves ethnic identity and whether that's something that has been projected on me or just how i've evolved...I have no idea. Was it the chicken or the egg? As I'm writing this I think that perhaps it's because this is the first time I don't have any Asian coworkers in my immediate vicinity so I'm not compelled to make the Asian jokes or discuss my ethnic background? I don't know and ultimately it doesn't matter except to point out to me that i've never been aware of the possibility of being thought of as 'colorless.' Colorless. I'm just the Barb. Not the Chinese Barb or the Swedish, i mean, Swiss Barb. It's my lesson learned. Happy New Year all!

Bad Education

Maybe it's because I watched an okay B-level movie last night before broaching Bad Education but I don't think so. In my experience, all Almodovar movies are spectacular and the main word that comes to mind after I watch them is 'visceral.' According to Webster it means, 'dealing with crude or elemental emotion,' and I think that's why it's the perfect word to describe his films.

I can't recall the last film I saw with an all-male cast that I loved, perhaps this is the first. His movies are so well crafted and push the envelope just enough to make you think about whether, if you were the protagonist, you would do the same as what's scripted. Would I kill my sibling if they were a long term drug addict and only causing utter strife to myself and the rest of my family? I'm gonna go with a no, but I'd probably think about it briefly as an easy way out. Does that make me murderous? No. In my mind, the difference between murderers/criminals and the rest of us is that they don't separate thought and imagination from reality (whether by choice or not). You can't say you've never thought about how easy life could be if you figured out a way to rob a bank and run off to some exotic island for your happily ever after. Or, how much more enjoyable life could be if (insert name of emotionally exhausting/general black hole of a person here) no longer existed. Such is the process of human thought. One is presented with a problem, one looks for the simplest solution. Of course, simplest isn't always the most moral. You see how this movie has made me think? And this is only one part of the parcel.

Can one fall in love at age 10? Are we even emotionally mature enough? Or perhaps it's because our emotional selves are still in development that we can let someone in more easily? It's like kids who learn a language at a young age pick it up faster than adults. I also happened to watch Jumper yesterday (not bad), but the lead says to his leading lady, 'since I was 5, it's only been you.' Or something to that effect. 5? I thought 10 was pushing it. But who am I to say yay or nay. Perhaps 'they just know.' That line had to come from somewhere.

Where are the lines between love, lust, and obsession? How are they different? Does love incorporate the other two and visa versa?

Why does pedophilia exist? Is it because it's forbidden? Why is 18 the age of consent? Seems arbitrary. Apparently, 'Although some young people may feel that they are mature enough to engage in a sexual relationship, others may lack the emotional development to deal with this or to feel confident enough to say 'no'. Age of consent laws are there to protect young people from being sexually exploited by adults.' Here we go again about emotional development. If age 5, is old enough to know you're in love (according to some people) then why 18? I recognize that some things just exist for our own protection and perhaps shouldn't be questioned. But I like to question. Like, why can we vote at 18 but not drink til we're 21? We're emotionally mature enough to take part in choosing who leads one of the most powerful countries on earth but not emotionally mature enough to legally have a glass of wine? On the same token, we're emotionally mature enough to drive at age 16. Meanwhile, 'On an average day in the USA, 10 teenagers are killed in teen-driven vehicles.' What? Je ne comprende pas. Maybe they don't want us voting when we're all under the influence or they figured if we've survived 2 years of teen driving we deserve to vote? Ha.

Everything seems to come down to emotional maturity, no?

Perhaps this is too much for a Sunday morning.

new year = more me

it's a new year. people always say, 'a new year, a new beginning, a new you,' but what if a 'new' anything isn't what you want? what if the 'old' was just fine? what if you had a pretty good oh8?

madonna is known for reinvention and obviously that's what keeps people interested in the entertainment industry but what i really love about her is that the reinvention is just the exterior. it seems to me that she's always balls out about who she is. she's a strong woman and has never hidden who she is and what she's capable of, bitchy. or. not. so, you ask, what does Barb want this year for herself?

honestly, i don't think i'd be too upset for things to keep trucking along as they are. i've got amazing people around me and (gasp) a job i like (i know that's rare these days). the only thing i do want is to make more time for myself...treat myself better both physically and emotionally. not be so hard on myself ya know? we are our harshest critics. otherwise, oh8 was great and oh9...well...i'm not gonna hope for worse am i?

and if i could wish something for the world i'd ask for more optimism and good will, sappy i know, but those two qualities work wonders.